I do not know what you do think about this, but as far as I am concerned, the feeling of being useful is fundamental in all aspects of my life. Doing something useful for myself or for the others gives a meaning to my actions, to my commitments.
What do you think about this feeling of usefulness?
Is it important for you to feel useful, to be useful? How important? What does it bring you?
Obviously the meaning of what is “useful” is very subjective, how to be helpful to yourself and to the others is very personal. Nevertheless let’s agree on a very common and basic meaning. Usefulness designates the quality of what is useful in contrast to something which is useless.
Yet, the feeling of being useful is as fundamental and vital as breathing or eating. Being useful gives a meaning to one’s life. The constant search for “the feeling of being useful” is a main driver of all our actions.
Feeling useless quickly, amounts to fade away, like the flame of a candle that eventually dies when placed in a room without oxygen.
This feeling of being useful is very closely linked to another very fundamental concept which is the “self-esteem”. Self-esteem is an inner attitude that deeply influences our life as well as our interactions with others. It consists in recognizing one’s value, one’s uniqueness. Self-esteem is also to know one’s self, to accept and love one’s self with all qualities but also limits. This is the only way one can establish harmonious and enriching relationships with others. In order to feel good, in tune with yourself and with the others, it is essential to first know who you are, what is your place in this world, what are you doing here and to be convinced you can hold this place, that you are competent and responsible for this role.
You can feel your self-esteem for instance when you are proud of something you have accomplished or you are committed in and that is useful in the eyes of the others.
Which one implies the other?
When having a low self-esteem, you cannot feel useful
If feeling useless, you may end up losing your self-esteem…
The goal is to work on both fronts.
Do you really want to boost your self-esteem? Take action!
Action is indeed the fastest and most effective way to influence what you think about yourself and boost your self-esteem. Become useful to yourself and then to the others.
Here are some paths worth experimenting:
– Dare to be yourself
– List all the reasons you have to love and respect yourself
– Decide that the glass is half full and not half empty
– Stop criticizing yourself. Turn off this little voice in your head morally harassing you nonstop!
– Turn your negative statements into positive affirmations. For instance “I am totally stressed” could turn into something like “it is normal to feel some stress and I can handle it”
– Live fully here and now. Do you realize how unique and ephemeral each moment of your life is? Enjoy fully every and each moment of happiness and pleasure – the freshness of a fruit juice at breakfast, the cat purring with pleasure, the smile of your child, happy to spend a good time with you, a great dinner with friends, the anniversary of a loved one … All these moments to which, most of the time, we do not pay attention though they are happiness!
– Grant to things and problems the place they deserve and nothing more!
– Choose one of the following assertions and stick to it during the whole day: Today, I thank someone. Today I feel strong. Today I trust myself. Today I do not blame or judge anyone. Today I accept I can be wrong. Today I let go. Today I am doing things well and I am proud of it. Today I can say NO in an assertive and non-aggressive manner…
«What we think, we become” – Buddha
Bonne route! I’d be happy if you’d share some feedbacks