There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.”
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed! They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.” ~ Author unknown ~
You’re angry! Ok, but not anyhow!
Healthy anger – Indignation, displeasure, anger, resentment, frustration.
Anger shades are multiple and reflect a frustration linked to a gap between reality as it is and as we wish it to be.
Anger itself is not a bad counselor but the reactions it produces in us are.
The difficulty with anger lies in accepting the feeling, in hearing its message, while not reacting too quick and blame others, which is usually counterproductive. Anger often indicates an excessive need to control everything, our an inability to let go of what we do not master absolutely. What do you think about this?
To express what makes us angry without yielding to passion, take a step back, if possible isolate yourself a moment to take the time to listen to the message it sends you and really decide what will be the best next.
Analyze what just happened.
What caused your anger? When?
How, that is to say what do you feel?
Ask yourself if anger is the best response to the situation?
What does this anger tell you about yourself?
What did the situation connect with inside yourself that made you angry?
Is the cause of this anger 100% on the others or aren’t you also part of the situation that caused anger?
Make sure you address to the right person before you express how you feel, in an assertive, but not aggressive way.
Keep one’s self-control does not contain one’s feelings and emotions, but to control the way we express them.
I’d be really happy to get your feedbacks and comments from you on this.